The State Department has plans for me

So we had a day-long orientation for Cairo, where I will be studying Arabic for two months, on Monday. There are 30 of us, and the group is weighted a little more heavily toward grad students than undergrads, so we have already sorted ourselves into the "over-25s" and the youngsters. At one point in orientation, the girl next to me said, "I'm really glad to see there's an age spread." "Yeah," I agreed, "I was afraid everyone would be 19, and I'd be the old lady at 30."

"Oh, but you look young, so you'll be fine," she said.

I LOOK young? You know I almost stabbed her in the eye with my pen. I AM young. Ridiculous child.

Orientation included a panel that should have been called "The State Department Has Plans for You." Turns out it is costing them about $17K a head for each of us this summer, and the panel was about career options in--surprise!--the foreign service. They've probably got retinal scans and blood vials on all of us already.

Here's the thing: I am an academic crackhead. EVERYTHING is interesting to me. When they spoke about careers in foreign service and how you would have to study Arabic for at least 10 years to be proficient, I go, "That is AWESOME! How much would I love to do that? I could totally be in the foreign service!" And I have to remind myself that I have that reaction to every new career option that comes along: I could totally be a historian! Or a clergy member! Or an attorney! Or a public health specialist! Or an AIDS educator! Or...and then I have to remind myself, Self, you already know what you are really, really passionate about, so let's not get sidetracked. But it's hard, because I feel like I am dominated by my inner 4-year old who is like "I want to be an astronaut and a ballerina and the president of the world" and doesn't realize those first two are mutually exclusive careers and the third doesn't exist.

So I will probably not join the foreign service. But let's not rule anything out.