Still in top form

A couple of recent incidents, just so you don't think I've lost my form:

1) Father Terry drove me out to Khayelitsha recently and was asking after my (nonexistent) romantic life. And I was saying, you know, I don't stress about it too much, but it's a little disheartening, because I'm funny, I'm bright, I'm pretty cute--and then I realize that he has only ever seen Traveling Shannon, which is to say Scrub Shannon, with no makeup and a baseball cap and wind jacket. And I am inexplicably seized by a desire to make it clear that I Do Not Always Look Like This. So I blurt out, "I mean, you haven't seen it here, but at home I'm totally cute! I have good hair and my clothes fit and--I'm really cute with a little bit of effort!" And he, poor man, is saying, "Yes, of course you are!" And I think, I am an ASS. Really no way to salvage that one.

2) I was waiting for the elevator the day we left for Cairo and we had the morning free. I'm feeling particularly buoyant, listening to my iPod; I have just run 5 miles, so I'm feeling strong and high-spirited, if a bit flushed and sweaty, and I am heading to the swimming pool, so I am wearing my bikini top and short shorts. And the iPod is playing booty-shaking music, so I doing the full-on booty-shaking dance, because I think I am alone in the hallway--until I turn around, mid-dance move, and three guys in my program are staring at me. Fortunately the elevator arrived then to swallow me in my ignominy. Because I am an ASS. And damn you, Ciara, for making such irresistible booty-shaking music.